TTC is a hard habit to break

Over the past two+ years, I've worried about the following things:

-Endometriosis
-High FSH
-Periods too long and heavy (pre-surgery)
-Periods too short and light (post-surgery)
-Late ovulation (Spring 2011)
-Early ovulation (2012)
-LUFS
-Blocked tubes pre-surgery
-Blocked tubes post-surgery
-Adhesions
-Pre-menstrual spotting (pre-surgery)
-Tail end brown bleeding (post-surgery)
-Asherman's Syndrome (post-surgery)
-Premature Menopause
-Poor quality eggs
-CM too watery
-CM too acidic
-CM too thick
-CM insufficient
-Insufficient endometrial lining
-DH's sperm count
-DH's sperm quality

The vast, vast majority of these conditions never affected me (endo, blocked tubes-pre-surgery) or came and went on the odd cycle (anything related to ovulation timing and CM). In other words, I spent hours--days even--Googling many conditions that I didn't have that I didn't need to worry about.

Now that we're fully committed to adoption, i.e. the big fat check has been mailed off, it no longer matters. It does not matter when or whether I ovulate. It does not matter if my uterus and pelvic cavity are scarred into oblivion.

But I can't seem to stop. I keep Googling, though it must just be out of habit. It's harder to let go of TTC, when it has consumed me for more than two years. I try to turn the page, but my mind keeps me on the TTC train. It's time to let go, but I don't know how.

P.S. My TEBB (tail-end brown bleeding) has mysteriously vanished, just when I had planned to ask my pelvic pain specialist about it. Perhaps it was just that my uterus hadn't fully healed from the surgery until now.

Afraid of the Dark

Thanks to all who replied to my questions about TEBB. I think I'm going to schedule a visit with my pelvic pain specialist when I'm having the weird clotting black spotting and make him do some cultures. If nothing odd turns up, perhaps I'll revisit after we adopt. To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure that it's a good idea to throw antibiotics at every case of TEBB, especially in the absence of positive cultures. Antibiotics wipe out good bacteria, not only in the digestive tract, but in the sinus cavities, ear canal, vagina, etc., and it can take a long time to rebuild.

But for now I need to be done with TTC for my own mental health.

We went to our adoption orientation, and it was fantastic. The agency seems to be a good fit with our values and ethos, the other couples were lovely, and best of all, they were very reassuring that they only accept as many couples as they anticipate placing within a year, and they only accept couples whom they feel are a good match for their birthmothers!

Despite all this reassurance, I'm struggling a bit.

The first issue is that we need to send in our big fat check. Once we do this, it's irrevocable. The money is gone, and it's a lot of money. DH and I have been discerning adoption for years now, and we had agreed that this is our best bet for becoming parents. We asked ourselves whether we could really pursue open adoption, and decided that not only could we do it, we didn't want any other kind of adoption. But now that we are on the verge of mailing the big fat check, I'm hesitating.

I want the safety and security of what is known: our current childless life. I'm like a child afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of where this path will lead. I'm afraid of the heartache that adoption, and parenthood, will inevitably bring. I'm afraid of the unknown and the unseen.

I Need the 411 on TEBB

Since my surgery, my cycles end with 2 days of brown bleeding, followed by another two days of black, spotted discharge. I would describe it almost like a scab that's flaking off inside off me. (It's great that there's no such thing as TMI in the infertile world.)

I've read enough bloggers who are using NaPro physicians to know that this could signal something VERY bad that could require 10+ days of intravenous antibiotics. But I also know that such regimens often don't work. 

At this point, I'm pretty much done with TTC. In a few weeks, we leave for our orientation weekend with our adoption agency. My mind is occupied by the homestudy and adoption profile. Once we make the payment to the agency, it really is best if I do not get pregnant. (Not that I can be bothered to avoid pregnancy.) We didn't even try this month because during my fertile time, we were out of town for my sister's wedding, sleeping in my old bedroom with ten other people in the house.

Still, I'm curious about this TEBB:

-Is there any problem with doing nothing? If I do have an infection, is it fine to just let my uterus be infected?

-Why would this have suddenly popped up after my surgery?

-Is there any chance it could be anything other than an infection? What?

-Did you have any other evidence of infection besides the TEBB? (e.g. foul-smelling discharge, etc, abdominal tenderness?)

-Did antibiotics clear up your TEBB? Have you conceived in the time since?

-Are there any non-NaPro physicians (besides Dr. Toth) who buy that TEBB is the result of infection?

-Should I go to my pelvic pain specialist about this? Or would he just laugh at me?

Any and all opinions, experience, anecdotes, and data are most welcome!

Life post Surgery

Having the adenomyoma removed was the best decision I've ever made.

Pain: I am free from the heavy and painful periods I've had ever since I was a teenager! No more do I spend a day curled in bed vomiting. I do have some cramps and fatigue, but I usually take Aleve and get on with my day. I do have an upset stomach on CD1, but usually avoiding heavy or greasy food takes care of this.

Bleeding:  Instead of five days of heavy bleeding and two days of light bleeding, I now have three days of light bleeding. I thought there was something wrong with me, until acupuncturist informed me that the regular tampons are named thus because that's what most people use.

Energy: Lighter periods mean that I'm no longer in a constant battle with iron-deficiency. My energy is far, far better. Enough to get me through a ten hour work day, plus a work out, plus centering prayer, plus cooking dinner some evenings, cleaning, and practicing. For the first time in years, I spring out of bed easily instead of dragging myself out of bed after oversleeping my alarm by an hour. Exercising is no longer a chore; I go to the gym because I look forward to stretching and moving my body.

PMS: Before the surgery, I used to have a full week of PMS: fatigue, tender breasts and belly, irritability, despair. Now, I have one or two days of fatigue and a day of sadness.

Other benefits that may or may not be surgery related: I no longer have diarrhea most mornings. My sex drive is back (though that may not be surgery related).

Lingering problems: I still have my "spot" of pain on my lower right side. Dr. S says that he may have missed some of the adenomyoma or that I could have some ovarian issue causing pain (though my ovaries looked normal before the surgery--hypofunctioning, but normal). He said that as long as it's not interfering with my quality of life, I should leave it alone. I should give him a call if my periods get heavier or more painful.

Really, my only regret is that I didn't do this much sooner. I was making the best decisions with the information I had, but I do feel sad that diagnosis and misinformation took so many years of my life.

Will Dr. F take me back?

Dr. F, my pelvic pain specialist, is my very favorite doctor. He's so smart, open-minded, thinks outside the box. We have all these interesting conversations together. If he weren't my doctor, I would want him to be my friend. And I don't even like doctors! But I've been feeling somewhat sheepish about telling him that I went off and had surgery with some other surgeon. Would he be hurt? Betrayed? Would he ask me awkward questions about why I liked Dr. S better than him?

Not wanting to spill the beans yet, I asked Dr. S if it would be okay to ask my primary care physician to remove my sutures rather than Dr. F. He said no problem, and my appointment with my PCP was today.

The only problem was that she didn't seem to know what she was doing. She couldn't tell the difference between a suture and a scab. She looked back and forth being my operative report and my pelvis before giving up and calling Dr. F for help. Dr. F!

Apparently, Dr. F is still speaking to me. He's willing to take the stitches out and do my post-op. My appointment is Monday.

Well, I guess I have no option but to go back to Dr. F. And it doesn't seem like it's going to be a problem that I didn't have surgery with him. Among all his other good qualities, he's humble.

Hrmph.

On recovery and regression

According to the information on Dr. S's website, laparoscopic surgery isn't that big a deal. I should have been discharged from the hospital after twenty-three hours (sooner, if I wanted), able to travel after seventy-two, and back to work in two weeks.

Lies, all lies.

It always sounded unlikely that I would be able to get up and waltz on home right after having my uterus shredded and surgically reconstructed. Twenty-three hours after my surgery, I still couldn't walk or pee on my own. The walking, I expected, but no one warned me about the pain of having a distended bladder in the middle of the night, crying on the toilet as DH ran to get the nurse who would inevitably drain me with a catheter so I could repeat the whole scary process a few hours later. I have a fear of catheters.

When nothing worked to induce me to pee, they put a catheter in connected it to a large bag and sent me back to the hotel where my family was staying, hoping that a few days of complete "bladder rest" would enable me to pee on my own again. I ended up traveling back to my parents house with the catheter. I was scared that I still wouldn't be able to pee during the drive and then my family would be driving around rural _____________ looking for an ER to drain me.

The irritation from the catheter made my vulva swell up to twice its size. On Monday night, when my parents' neighbor (thankfully, a urological nurse!) came over to remove it, I cried from the relief of finally having the catheter out and the remaining anxiety that I still could not void. But I woke a few hours later with a full bladder and used a tip that the nurse  suggested: I sat on the toilet and poured a bucket of warm water over my vulva and I was finally, finally able to pee. My mom did a little dance in the bathroom in celebration and my dad sent a text message to my DH.

Now, my vulva is still swollen and covered in a rash. Monday night, I ditched the mesh hospital panties for my regular cotton underwear and pads, and now I'm wondering if that was the best idea. Could I have diaper rash?

If there is anything more infantalizing than having my dad change my pee bag and having my mom in the bathroom with me cheering me on as I try to pee, it would be a case of diaper rash.

Surgical Findings

1. NO ENDO: Anywhere, at all. The choice phrase from the surgical report was that my ovaries, fallopian tubes, and entire pelvic cavity were all "grossly normal."

2. Adenomyoma: The mass in my uterus was larger than expected: 10 centimeters. It was all across the top right hand side of my uterus and a bit on the back side of the uterus as well. My uterus was the size of a sixteen weeks pregnant uterus! This meant that the surgery went longer than expected: six hours rather than four. I'm so glad that I went with the more experienced surgeon, despite the expense and inconvenience that entailed. What if a less experienced doctor had called my uterus a lost cause and performed a hysterectomy?

So for Thanksgiving, I'm feeling very thankful. For the health of my ovaries (despite the DOR, which I guess is really DOR), tubes, and newly reconstructed uterus. For the expertise and compassion of Dr. S. For the support of my parents and DH upon whom I was until very recently dependent for even my most basic bodily needs. I am truly thankful.

T - 1

The fast has begun.

Pre-op surgical consultation has been had.

The first of many doses of laxatives has been swallowed.

Happily, I have not bitten anyone's head off, including my loving husband and my dear parents who have flown in to be with me during the surgery.

Even better, Dr. S. is very optimistic about the surgery; no more adenomyomas were found during my ultrasound today, though he did say I could have adenomyosis. Also, the adenomyoma doesn't appear to have grown since last year.

Though I am a wimp about medical procedures, I'm actually feeling optimistic and relieved that it will be over soon.

Fear and Trembling

Today, I received the sacrament of the anointing of the sick in preparation for my surgery next week. Father J anointed my head with oil, he laid his hands on me and prayed that Jesus would keep me in the hollow of his hand during the surgery and my recovery. He prayed that God would guide the hands of the surgeon and everyone who will touch me.

I know that I am loved by God all the time. But it made me feel so special to receive God's love through human hands and through the (extra)ordinary substance of (holy) oil.

Father J assured me that he would put my name on the list of the sick so that all in the parish at all the Masses would be praying for a successful surgery and my quick recovery. This made me feel loved too, by God and by God's people.

The sacrament gave me a moment of peace in what has been a very anxious week. I have irrational fears of needles (I get dizzy before a flu shot), knives, germs (I am afraid of contracting an incurable flesh-eating bacterium in the hospital), drugs (a big reason IVF was never a temptation for me), and pain. I know that most of these fears are irrational, but they are very, very real to me. In addition, I am swamped with work that needs to be done before I go, work that I cannot finish efficiently because I am so distracted by my anxiety.

I ask you, my dear readers, however many or few of you there are to pray for me, as I go into the week of my surgery. Pray that I may have courage. Pray for Dr. S my surgeon. Pray for my DH and my parents as they watch over me.

Something is working

It's CD1. No disappointment this time, because we took a break this month. But here I am, sitting up in bed with minimal pain: no vomiting, no writhing, no tears, no wishing death upon myself. Last month was similar; I was even able to drag myself out of bed for a work function that I could not miss.

The hard thing about my kitchen-sink approach to alternative therapies is that I have no idea what's working. My periods took a turn for the better when I started taking blood movers (Chinese herbs) during the first part of my cycle. They aren't safe during pregnancy, so I would discontinue after ovulation. Around the same time, I started fertility yoga. The creators claim that this yoga, in which you do a different set of poses for each phase of the cycle, helps with endometriosis (or in Chinese medical terms, blood stagnation). And at the same time, I started avoiding stagnating foods. I've always eaten healthy food overall, but once a week or so I would indulge in french fries, potato chips, eating to excess. For months, I've been avoiding any food that gives me that bloated feeling.

And finally, after that dreadful experience being off the NSAIDS in anticipation of my hysteroscopy, I was reminded of the magic of prostaglandin inhibitors and starting taking them liberally at the first sign of PMS cramps.

So I have no way of knowing what's working and I don't intend to try any kind of process of elimination, because I have no desire to spend a day in bed disabled by severe abdominal pain and vomiting.

I'm feeling a bit silly for scheduling surgery because of my intolerable pain, when suddenly, it's become quite tolerable. On the other hand, my surgeon was quite clear that the adenomyoma could be causing implantation failure, and I don't want to spend another year TTC, only to find out it was the adenomyoma all along.

True and False with my RE

Dr. S, world-famous endo surgeon, has very different opinions from my RE about my fertility. Let's evaluate what she told me in the course of my consultations:

1. "I don't think your adenomyoma will affect implantation."

Dr. S says: FALSE! Although adenomyosis, unlike endometriosis, is not considered a cause of infertility, in my case, there is so much tissue, all balled up in one place. "It definitely could be affecting implantation."

Comments: This was my perspective all along. This was why I sought out an RE in the first place, so she could take a look at my MRI, evaluate the size and location of the adenomyoma and tell me whether it would affect fertility. Instead, she never even looked at the MRI records I had sent to her. She saw the adenomyoma during my hysteroscopy, but she didn't seem to think it would be a problem. F--- her.

2. "Laparoscopy is a bad idea for you. It will aggravation your ovarian reserve issues."

Dr. S says: FALSE! This is only true for women who have very large endometriomas on both ovaries. He knows I don't have such a problem, because none of my multiple pelvic ultrasounds, MRIs, nor hysterosonogram has ever shown any evidence of endometriomas on my ovaries. "In any effort to protect a woman's ovaries, REs often prevent women from getting the treatment they need."

Comments: My RE issued a blanket recommendation apart from the specifics of my case. DOR = avoid laparoscopy like a cloud of tobacco smoke. In reviewing the literature about laparoscopy and DOR, many of the articles emphasize that preservation of the ovarian function is entirely dependent upon the skill of the surgeon, something my RE never mentioned to me. Which is why we're traveling to ____________, rather than having my surgery locally.

My RE is one of the best in the country. Although only in her 30s, she is on the editorial board of the top journal of reproductive endocrinology. She is the recipient of a prestigious NIH fellowship. In other words, she's no small potato.

And yet, she seems to be making decision by virtual of a decision tree.

Diminished Ovarian Reserve? It's hopeless. Do not get a laparoscopy. Head straight to IVF.
Adenomyoma? Never affects fertility. Don't worry about it.

The particulars of my case, my adenomyoma, my ovaries, my (possible) endometriomas, were of no interest to her.

Of course, the most devastating things she said about me, she didn't say to my face: She told my pelvic pain specialist that I have a one percent chance of spontaneous pregnancy. Even though I ovulate every single month.

But she's been wrong about so much. I'm going to bet she's wrong about this.

And suddenly all is new

I wrote my last post from the depths of despair. Of all the deadly sins, despair, the enemy of hope seems to be the one that gets me every time. But there have been some big changes that give me reason to hope.

Number one is that DH got a job! It is a temporary job, to be sure, and one that takes him far from me, but one that will hopefully set him up for a permanent job closer to home in the future. And it will provide us with the money we need for....

Number two. I spent the summer coming to the realization that the amount of pain and anxiety I experience with every menstrual cycle is untenable. The despair of CD1 is one thing. The despair of CD1 combined with excruciating pain and vomiting is seriously enough to drive me to self-harm every single month. This situation cannot continue. My pelvic pain specialist in my city is, unfortunately best friends with my RE. After consulting with her (with my consent), he is under the impression that I cannot get pregnant without IVF, and that if I don't want to do that, I might as well have the adenomyoma excised. He has only removed such masses for women who were done with childbearing.

Not inclined to put my fertility in the hands of someone who thinks that I will never get pregnant, I sought a second opinion with a very famous surgeon who specializes in endometriosis. Dr. S has done this surgery hundreds of times, for women who have gone on to have children. The surgery is expensive, but now that DH has a job, we can afford it. I am scheduled for November, which means I will only have one! more! period! before surgery.

Dr. S will remove the adenomyoma, reconstruct my uterus, and remove any additional endo that he finds in my pelvic cavity. I am terrified, but others have been through worse and survived, right?

What's wrong with me, Part I: Adenomyoma

Adenomyosis is a condition in which the endometrial tissue in the uterus goes crazy, invading the muscular wall of the uterus. Like its cousin, endometriosis, it causes severe pain with menstruation.

Instead of diffuse adenomyosis all around my uterus, I have an adenomyoma, a focused growth in one, large, painful place at the top of my uterus.

Some women have pain from adenomyosis all the time. I'm relatively lucky; I have mild pain the week before my period, severe pain and vomiting on day one, and mild pain that I control completely with Aleve days 2-3.

It's unclear whether and how such an adenomyoma affects fertility. In endometriosis, the endometrial tissue grows outside of the uterus, causing a toxic environment for fertilization and affecting ovarian health. In adenomyosis, the endometrial tissue is more or less where it's supposed to be. Thus, most doctors will tell you that women with adenomyosis might have a higher chance of miscarriage, but that it shouldn't otherwise affect fertility. Anecdotally, I've seen many women on fertility forums get pregnant with adenomyosis.

On the other hand, this paper suggests that some women with adenomyosis have trouble getting pregnant (this article suggests the same). On the fertility forums, not every woman with adenomyosis gets pregnant. It seems self-evident to me that if my 5x7mm polyp could cause implantation difficulties, then surely my enormous adenomyoma could.

I would hazard a guess that since it affects the structure of the uterus itself, fertility depends on the extent of the adenomyomas/adenomyosis, as well as the unpredictable nature of fertility itself. In other words, some women with adenomyomas can get pregnant naturally, others need medical intervention, others will never get pregnant.

Although the above articles present surgery as a treatment for both pain and infertility, my pelvic pain specialist has warned me that surgery carries with it the risk that my uterus will scar closed, ending my chances at carrying a pregnancy to term. His advice last year was to wait, get pregnant, then have the surgery when I'm done with child bearing.

That was April 2011; it has been a year and obviously, I am not pregnant. Every month, the pain, vomiting, and blood loss continue. Every month I fall into despair. Some months, the pain is better than others, but emotionally, the pain gets harder to deal with.

If I continue to not get pregnant, at some point, I will have to gamble: a chance at restored fertility or infertility. All or nothing.

By Any Means Necessary?

How far would I go to have a child?  The desire to have a child entails the willingness to go through the misery of morning sickness, first trimester fatigue, the excruciating pain of actually giving birth, the risks to my health.  I would be open to having a c-section if necessary for the health and safety of my child.

I've restricted my diet, given up alcohol and caffeine. I spend time every morning organizing supplements. I choke down concoctions of wheat grass and Chinese herbs.

I've endured a saline hysterosonogram. I am having a hysteroscopy in two weeks. If I could have a laproscopy, I would have one.

These are minimal interventions. If pregnancy doesn't result, the recommendation is for a round of injectables, followed by IVF.  The side effects of the "minimally invasive" fertility drugs that my RE has recommended include headaches, mood swings, abdominal tenderness, ovarian cysts. Many women report that the IVF drugs permanently change their bodies. They also carry the risks of hot flashes, cysts, and Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome.

The risks of many interventions are also financial. Many women with diminished ovarian reserve cannot get pregnant with their own eggs. They must use the eggs of a donor, often with a price tag of $35,000.  A cheaper alternative is to ask a friend of family member to donate for you. Would I be willing to watch my sister inject stimulants in the hopes that she has eggs to give me?

Some women with adenomyosis cannot carry a pregnancy to term. To bear their own, biological child, they must use a surrogate, another womb on loan. A popular option is to go to India, where a woman will bear your child for far less than the going rate in the US.

Is it all worth it, once we have that child in our arms? Is any intervention, procedure, or transaction okay, as long as we can parent? When do we decide to call it quits?

How far would you go to have a child?

Update: Post-testing follow-up with RE

It looks like I do have diminished ovarian reserve. Although my FSH did drop a bit (I couldn't bring myself to ask the specific number), my AMH was low (.29).

In addition, I have an small endometrial polyp (7x5mm). According to my RE, polyps can secrete a substance that interferes with implantation. There are women who've carried pregnancies to term with polyps; there are also women who conceived only after having polyps removed. Removal involves a hysteroscopy, a 20-minute procedure conducted under general anesthesia. I'm inclined to do this.

Regarding my ovarian reserve, RE wants to shoot me full of fertility drugs in the hopes that ovulating two eggs at a time will increase the chances that I'll get pregnant.  I have my doubts about this, which I will explicate in another post.

If injectibles don't work, she wants to proceed straight to IVF.

She didn't seem to be pushing aggressive intervention.  She acknowledged that she has seen people with DOR get pregnant with no intervention at all. She has also seen people get pregnant with injectibles and timed intercourse.  And she has seen couples who needed IVF.

I will be scheduling the hysteroscopy as soon as I get my next period.

I do not plan to take the injectibles. I am not interested in IVF.

I am trying to come to grips with the fact that I might never get pregnant.

Why I don't take a prenatal vitamin

At the top of every communication from my RE, there is a reminder to "begin or continue taking a prenatal vitamin." I won't be doing this. There is nothing magic about pre-natal vitamins. They contain they same vitamins and minerals found in many other supplements.

WebMD recommends a prenatal vitamin with around

400 mcg of folic acid
400 IU of vitamin D
200 to 300 mg of calcium
70 mg of vitamin C
3 mg of thiamine
2 mg of riboflavin
20 mg of niacine
6 mcg of vitamin B12
10 mg of vitamin E
15 mg of zinc
17 mg of iron

With the combination of vitamins and supplements I already take, I have all of those bases covered. In addition, calcium blocks iron absorption; if you want to actually absorb the iron you're paying for, you shouldn't take it with any calcium at all.

Finally, like everything having to do with conception and birth, pre-natals are much more expensive than your average multi-vitamin. No one desperate to conceive would balk at the price of a vitamin, so they charge more.

I'm hardly against spending a lot of money on supplements, but have given and will continue to give pre-natals a pass.

The Fertility Industrial Complex

I should acknowledge that I am currently under the care of an RE.  The tools and skills of Western doctors have helped diagnose my adenomyoma, diagnose and treat my hypothyroidism, and have reassured me that my tubes are indeed open.

If I were hit by a bus, I would want to go to the ER, not my acupuncturist's office.

However, I remain skeptical that Western reproductive endocrinology will help me have a baby.

I am skeptical of the profit structure of fertility treatments. Going to my RE's office for what is known as a baseline was really cheap: $90 dollars for his-and-her basic fertility workup, including a semen analysis for him, and cycle day 3 blood work and ultrasound for her. From there, however, the cost of treatment only goes up, culminating in $11,000-15,000 per cycle for IVF. Most people need 2-3 cycles of IVF to conceive: that's up to $45,000 for a chance at having a baby. I suspect that my RE's office offers basic diagnostic tests so cheaply because they make the big bucks on IVF.

So far, I like my RE.  I think she is compassionate and good at explaining things.  She never jumps to conclusions before considering all the data. However, I have noticed that if she can't treat something, she's not really all that interested in it.  For example, the adenomyoma: There is hardly any data out there about whether and how adenomyosis affects fertility. Anecdotally, I see people on fertility forums who have healthy pregnancies with adenomyosis, but it seems like every case would be depend on where and how extensive the adenomyosis is. I wanted an RE to look at my uterus and tell me whether I can conceive.

So during my saline sonogram, I asked her if she saw the adenomyoma. "Well, we weren't really looking for that."  What?  It's a lemon-sized area.  How could you miss it?

I think the answer is that she can't treat it, so it doesn't really matter. Similar with my suspected endometriosis.  Laparoscopy can make diminished ovarian reserve worse, so no matter how extensive the endo is, I'm not having it.  I almost wish I could have a lap, just so I could see whether I have endo.  I've always wondered, and given my family history and painful periods, it's likely, but I don't know for sure.

Is she so lackadaisical about diagnostics because she can offer me the ultimate solution: IVF.  IVF can diagnose the quality of eggs by evaluating the quality of embryos.  IVF can circuit a system that's hostile to sperm, whether its due to cervical mucus, endo, or immune-issues.

The only problem is--actually there are a lot of problems with IVF--A BIG FAT HUGE problem is that it's tens of thousands of dollars with no guarantee of success.

Our next appointment with the RE is May 7th.  It's the last big appointment when she looks at all of my test data and makes a recommendation.  I'll keep you updated.

Current Alternative and Western Treatments

Here is a current list of my alternative and mainstream treatments:

Vitamins and Supplements

B-complex (overall health and energy, plus additional folic acid)

Cod Liver Oil (immune health, plus post-colonial children swear by it)

Vitamin D (diagnosed with low vitamin D 12/11)

Selenium (thyroid function)

Zinc (thyroid function and PMS)

Evening Primose Oil - only until ovulation (endometriosis and PMS)
Vitamin E (endometriosis) Discontinued post-surgery.

Pyncnogenol (endometriosis) Discontinued post-surgery.

Fish Oil Supplement (endometriosis) Discontinued post-surgery.

CoQ10 (egg quality)

Royal Jelly (egg quality) Discontinued 1/13.

L-arginine (egg quality) Discontinued 1/13.

Chlorella (egg quality) Discontinued 1/13.

Iron (iron deficiency, diagnosed 12/11)

Calcium (bone health)

Magnesium (cramps and PMS)

Wheat Grass (egg quality and FSH) 

Traditional Chinese Medicine

Weekly acupuncture (started 4/2004)

Prescription Chinese Herbal Formula

Spirituality and Psychological Health

Centering Prayer (1-2x/day)

Yoga for Fertility (Aiming for 1x/day)

Therapy

Western Medicine

Synthyroid (hypothyroid, diagnosed 4/12)