I wrote my last post from the depths of despair. Of all the deadly sins, despair, the enemy of hope seems to be the one that gets me every time. But there have been some big changes that give me reason to hope.
Number one is that DH got a job! It is a temporary job, to be sure, and one that takes him far from me, but one that will hopefully set him up for a permanent job closer to home in the future. And it will provide us with the money we need for....
Number two. I spent the summer coming to the realization that the amount of pain and anxiety I experience with every menstrual cycle is untenable. The despair of CD1 is one thing. The despair of CD1 combined with excruciating pain and vomiting is seriously enough to drive me to self-harm every single month. This situation cannot continue. My pelvic pain specialist in my city is, unfortunately best friends with my RE. After consulting with her (with my consent), he is under the impression that I cannot get pregnant without IVF, and that if I don't want to do that, I might as well have the adenomyoma excised. He has only removed such masses for women who were done with childbearing.
Not inclined to put my fertility in the hands of someone who thinks that I will never get pregnant, I sought a second opinion with a very famous surgeon who specializes in endometriosis. Dr. S has done this surgery hundreds of times, for women who have gone on to have children. The surgery is expensive, but now that DH has a job, we can afford it. I am scheduled for November, which means I will only have one! more! period! before surgery.
Dr. S will remove the adenomyoma, reconstruct my uterus, and remove any additional endo that he finds in my pelvic cavity. I am terrified, but others have been through worse and survived, right?
"Not inclined to put my fertility in the hands of someone who thinks that I will never get pregnant, I sought a second opinion..."
ReplyDeleteAmen! Bravo! I swear, I think I'm making a post of this single sentence! What you have said here and why speaks so many volumes as to what we face, and how "they" so often want us to listen to them and believe they are the end all, the be all, of our fertility. To hell with that. My fertility is in the hands of those who believe, who want, who encourage,and who create.
Again, bravo and cheers to a talented and capable and competent team and support around you! Hugs and love and prayers and many wishes for where all of this goes. <3
Thanks Ashley Sue! There are so many stories about women who get pregnant against the odds. That might not happen to me, but it makes me quite skeptical of the definitive declarations issued by my RE. I am so done with her.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have a new team of people who think outside the box yourself. I'm so happy that you've found doctors who can partner with you for your health.
BTW, are you getting email notices of comments? I ask because I've left a couple of comments and it's unlike you to respond. (Though of course, there's no obligation--I just wanted to check!)