Monday, December 2, 2013


For three weeks, DH and I thought we would be parents this Advent. I spoke to an expectant mother, she chose us, we met her and got to know her better, and then mere weeks before the birth, she decided to parent.

We were praying all along that she would make the best decision for herself and her family, and we trust that God has answered our prayers.

And now, I have to get down to the grim business of untelling. My boss has been resisting my efforts to advocate for a maternity leave for adoptive mothers. I untold him.

My friends with babies have been giving me baby clothes and advice. I untold them.

My piano teacher, people in my choir, I untold them.

There are many silver linings to this situation. It's better to receive this news one week before the birth than two days after. I might meet my work deadlines. I can go to my conference in January and see all my grad school friends.

But still, it's hard orient ourselves to this new, new reality.


  1. I am so sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers, dear girl!

    Maria In Mass

  2. Oh Sarah, I'm so so sorry for the untelling.

    I'm going to Mass right now - will be praying for you.


  3. I'm so sorry. I've never been in that situation but I can only imagine it must be so hard to "untell" and to readjust after being so close to becoming parents. Your 2nd paragraph inspires me - that seems the way one would have to go about these situations, trusting that the best decision is made, even if it's not the one you were hoping for. Prayers that your hearts can heal and that you become a mother soon!

  4. I'm so, so sorry. Praying for you, and praying for the birthmother and the baby.

  5. I'm so sorry! I love that you're main prayer was for the best to work out in this situation, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. Praying for you!

  6. Our adoption agency has told us that this can happen...but nothing can prepare you when it does. Praying for you as you find the strength to move on and know you will meet another birthmother. One day, we will hold our forever babies (Lord Willing).

  7. I'm sorry you had to go through this! This is something that seems to happen to so many couples hoping to adopt. Praying for stregth and patience. God bless.